This post now feels a bit out of step, but I just felt that I had to rush off the beef noodles post before we left the hotel in Lanzhou. Partly because I did want to ask the chef’s permission to post the photos. They were thrilled to see the post and be on the internet too I think.
Anyway, arriving in Lanzhou.
Our train was, of course, on time. The station, although massive, was easy to navigate and after our long walk through it we were ushered to a taxi by station staff. No throng of taxi drivers trying to tempt you, just orderly queues of of taxis three deep each patiently waiting to be assigned a passenger. On board it was reassuring to hear the whirr of the meter as it initialised our trip and printed out the header of our receipt. This was only our third taxi in China and not only were they all faultless and relatively cheap, but the drivers were all honest people. The first two took a tip of 2-3 Yuan only very reluctantly. The fare in Lanzhou was 15.70 and when I proffered 20, no matter how much I insisted the driver would not keep the change. He actually rounded it down and gave me 5 back.
At 10:30pm, after a nine hour train ride we just wanted to fall into bed - after a beer and perhaps a snack. Not about to happen as the hotel check-in was a nightmare. Five attempts with my credit card, numerous requests to pay by cash that I didn’t have and four with AliPay and their machine finally sprang into life with a rejection slip. I should mention at this point that we really were out in the wild now.
We had booked into a Mercure, but even here not one of the three at reception spoke even a word of English. Luckily all were proficient with their telephone translator. We were assured that everything was fine and that they would get their security man to take me to the bank in the morning. I was having none of it, I wanted it sorted out before we went to bed and insisted on going to a cash machine immediately. Partly, I also wanted to demonstrate that the card was fine and either their machine or competence was at fault.
One of the young women insisted on taking me there and on the way she pointed to a stall where we could buy noodles. Then when we arrived at the ATM she came right into the kiosk with me and watched me make the transaction. This was only my second withdrawal in China and I wasn’t in the best frame of mind. I had remembered that for the first time since we’d left India (excepting Singapore), we didn’t need to withdraw millions. Still I attempted to draw 5,000. Nope, so I quickly tried for 1,000 fearing that it was going to be a problem with my card. A sigh of relief as all the machinery whirred up ready to dispense my notes. It was only later that I calculated that I had attempted to withdraw 560 pounds. Even I’m not that creditworthy.
I glanced behind me, probably looking triumphant, to be confronted with a phone screen asking me if I’d taken enough. I was puzzled and tapped furiously and showed my screen asking how much my bill actually was. I had thought it was 500, but she ignored that anyway and asked me if I had enough for food and ‘rent’. I ignored that, harrumphed and then we went to buy noodles. Screen after screen reassuring me how good they were there and that even ‘we’ always eat them from there. Beer? Shop just up the street.
We went there first and the shopkeeper helpfully directed me to beer on the shelf, assuming that I wanted imported beer. I wanted beer from the fridge. I got a screen telling me ‘that’s chineses beer’. A screen back- ‘that’s exactly what I want’. Screen back reassuring me that that’s exactly the beer ‘I sometimes drink’.
Back across to the noodle shop and my new personal assistant handled everything from ordering the noodles and arranging a ‘handful’ of barbecued mutton. On our way back she assured me ‘screenwise’ that she had already told the chef at the hotel that we would be coming for breakfast in the morning and reassured me that he did the best Lanzhou beef noodles.
Back in the lobby I triumphantly pulled out my cash to settle the bill. Furious tapping and wonder that I now insisted upon paying cash. The slip that had been printed out earlier had actually been an acknowledgement of payment and all this following me about, making sure I had enough cash was nothing to do with the hotel bill. They were genuinely concerned for this strange foreign man walking around China without any money in his pockets. Tail between my legs’ I made off for our room and a cold beer.
Back in our room, munching our noodles and beautifully barbecued mutton, sipping that cold beer, I thought of that old Jonah in Laos. I smiled and thought, in a gentle sort of way: ‘Damn your eyes’
